There is something worse than being alone: Being alone and being told that it is "a gift from the universe." Not having someone to call on a Tuesday night when the world is falling apart. Not having a message asking how you are, not because something happened, but just because. Not having a hug. A real one, one of those that are not in a hurry. That is not a process. That is loneliness. The fucking kind. The kind that hurts in the chest when the noise goes out.
But we live in times where saying that is almost a crime. Because "you have to learn to be alone," "your company should be enough," "self-love is enough." Oh, yeah? Well, let's see if self-love helps you get up when even your desire hurts, to calm the silences that sound like an echo, or to fill that huge bed that gets colder every night.
But of course, nobody wants to hear that. We live trapped in the fantasy of "everything is fine." And if you say that you are alone and that you are not handling it well, they look at you as if you had said that you kill puppies for sport. Because being real is no longer fashionable.
Now you have to be at peace. Grateful. "Working on yourself." No, thank you.
I'm fed up with having to justify that I miss basic things. A coffee with someone who listens. A look that is not in a hurry. A shared silence that is not uncomfortable. That is not weakness, it is a human need. Period.
Toxic positivity tells you that loneliness is "an opportunity for growth." Well, look, I've grown quite a bit. What I need is not another mantra, it's a fucking hug.
So don't sell me any more glittery phrases. Don't tell me that "everything comes," because there are people who die waiting. Don't tell me that "everything depends on oneself," because that is cruel, false and dangerous. There are good, complete, luminous people... alone.
And not because they don't vibrate high, but because the world is going very fast and has become selfish. So if you have nothing real to tell me, save the "cheer up." Give me presence, or leave me alone. But don't make me responsible for a loneliness that I didn't ask for, just so you don't have to look at yours.
