How comforting everything is in here, the warmth of Mom's hands when she caresses her belly, that healthy food she provides me through this long little cord that unites me to her. I think this union will be forever, because I live in her and she lives for me. Although I have little time left to go out into that other world, it will be our secret: no one will ever break this thread that unites us.
Wow, it seems like it's hard for me to get out... or maybe I don't want to. A little of both. Mom is also a little reluctant to let me go. I have managed to get here because my mom has protected me.
I'm out. How cold I feel! Now begins a new stage, where the needs that I had covered inside generate fear outside. What will happen? But I know that my parents will help me break this narcissism that I had in my mother's womb.
Now I must learn to function in the world. Before I was the protagonist, now I will have to find a new direction. But I have to let go of this cord because, if I don't, I won't be able to live outside. I can barely move on my own. My crib is very beautiful, but I don't have the strength to move. Now I understand everything my mother did to keep me comfortable in her womb.
Over time, I realize how many challenges I have overcome to function in life and how many people are still clinging to excessive dependence. Growing up involves developing skills to face reality. As a child, I learned that frustration is necessary to form an empathetic and balanced person.
Every day we see children to whom saying "no" seems like abuse. We fall into absurd guilt and think that we are doing wrong as parents. But if we educate only with "yes", when they get to school, teachers find children who cannot be told "now you have to work, not play". Many times they don't respect us because at home they are already used to everything being a "yes". In classes, we cannot manage that each child brings a completely different behavior.
Even more worrying is hearing children of just ten years old say that they have no illusion to live. They look at me and confess: "I already have everything and I'm fed up." How have we come to this? If at such a young age they feel that there is nothing to expect, that everything has been given to them without effort, what motivation will they find to move forward? Without challenges, without limits and without the opportunity to fight for what they want, they grow up with a feeling of emptiness that takes away their excitement for life.
One of my students reflected on this with words that impacted me:
"Life has to teach us that nothing will always be as we want. We cannot live in a bubble where we only hear a 'yes' to everything, because that would make us lie to ourselves. Making mistakes is part of being human,
but when we don't learn to face them, we end up building an arrogant character. It's like the sin of pride, where you think you're perfect and you can't fail. Never be too confident or too insecure. Like every human being, you have to find the balance between your abilities and knowledge. Observing what you are capable of is fundamental and, believe me, all humans have great capabilities."
His reflection is realistic and sincere. He explains how, in the lives of children, it must be learned that nothing will always be as one wants and that not everything can be a "yes". If an ego bubble is created in which obstacles are avoided, one is lying to oneself. The lack of confrontation with one's own mistakes leads to an arrogant personality and, in extreme cases, to narcissism.
"This text shows how we should not be in life. Through real examples, Juani, being a mother, has been able to observe these details over the days, weeks, months and even years
Never be too confident or quite denied. Like every human being, you must find the balance between your abilities and knowledge, in addition to recognizing what you are capable of. And believe me, all humans have great capabilities."
As Maria Montessori said, "the greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say: the children now work as if I did not exist". Teaching them limits and autonomy from home is the best way to prepare them for the real world.
Montessori argued that the child should learn for himself through guided experiences, which includes the importance of managing frustration. If we give them all the solutions without allowing them to make mistakes, we deprive them of developing their independence. Therefore, it is essential that they understand that you cannot always get what you want, and that this small frustration is not a punishment, but a learning tool.
I don't consider myself a bad mother for teaching them that not everything is possible. It's good to learn to receive a "no". The limits at home are reflected in the classroom. Educating is not smoothing the road, but teaching how to walk.
Juani Alemán Hernández and Felipe Solís Valencia.
