When I heard how Judge Adolfo Carretero addressed Elisa Mouliaá, a victim of alleged abuse, I couldn't help but feel angry. Not because it's something new—I wish it were—but because once again justice is focusing on the wrong thing. Instead of placing the weight where it belongs, on the alleged aggressor, it places it on the victim. As a man, I can only ask myself: how can someone with a robe act this way and be so comfortable?
Elisa, like so many other women, not only had to face the pain of remembering what happened, but she did so under the shadow of a judge who seemed more interested in finding cracks in her testimony than in listening to her. Uncomfortable questions, constant interruptions, and, above all, that attitude that makes it clear that she is the one who has to prove something. I'm sorry, but no. In a case of abuse, the first obligation of the system is to guarantee a space of respect so that the truth can come to light.
I am not surprised that experts in gender violence have raised their voices. If we treat those who dare to report like this, the message we send is clear: better not to. And that, from my position as a man, is shameful. Because yes, this system also represents us, and it is doing it wrong.
The most serious thing is not only the action of this particular judge, but what it symbolizes. How is it possible that in 2025 we are still talking about the need to train judges in gender perspective? Why do we have to explain, again and again, that questioning and revictimizing a woman is not only harmful, but unacceptable?
Each interruption, each look of disbelief, each out-of-place comment adds to the weight already carried by those who decide to raise their voices. As a man, I ask myself: is this the type of justice we want to defend? Because it's not just about women; it's about all of us. A system that fails the victims is a system that fails us as a society.
To Elisa, and so many others, I send all my solidarity. Because although I can't put myself in their shoes, I am clear that this has to stop. We need judges who listen, not who judge with prejudice. We need a structural change, from training to sensitivity.
I don't know about you, but I don't want to be part of a society that turns its back on those who need it most. So let's keep talking, demanding, and fighting for a system that, once and for all, is worthy. And while some insist on doubting, here we will be to remind them: the truth always deserves to be heard.
