The relationships between grandparents and grandchildren have always been very special and different from those one can have with other family members. Patricia Montelongo and Victoria Martín are two great examples of this. Patricia Montelongo began to publish different videos of her day-to-day life with her 94-year-old grandmother to raise awareness of the challenge families face with the cognitive decline suffered by the elderly and, also, to save memories by spending time together.
Victoria Martín, originally from Arrecife, currently lives with her granddaughter and one of her daughters in Playa Honda, who take care of her and give her the affection and love she needs now more than ever. According to her granddaughter Patricia Montelongo in an interview with La Voz, her grandmother's cognitive decline began ten years ago after the death of one of her three children, at which point "we began to see that she was declining".
This decline began little by little as she forgot situations and basic household chores that "she always did, like making beds, cooking, washing dishes, or doing laundry, started to become difficult for her".
The death of her son, the trigger for her decline
After the worsening of her cognitive health, Victoria's life changed radically. "Before, she was much more dependent, she had great ease in remembering things and in holding conversations with family, and she also used to go for walks with her cousins and her sister, she had a lot of energy, but now she needs a lot of help," says her granddaughter.
She also points out that there are things that are now more difficult for her and that she forgets. "She repeats questions like whether she has already eaten, she has trouble remembering certain moments," she points out.
Montelongo states that the hardest part of her grandmother's situation is that she is so dependent. "Before she did things by herself and now we have to help her, and that ultimately costs us," she indicates.
And it is that her own family takes care of her, although several years ago they hired someone to take care of her. "I used to study away from home, and with COVID, I started studying remotely here on the island, but also because I saw how she was and it was very difficult for me to be separated because she is the one who raised me, so I decided to move back, and my mother and I take care of her," she says.
Victoria's sister and her nieces have also been in charge of taking care of her. "If my mother had to work or I had plans, they would take care of my grandmother," she says.
Although at first an external person to the family took care of her grandmother, the young woman says that Victoria "had a very bad time, she cried and didn't want my mother to leave". Therefore, the family itself decided to take care of her themselves.
Patricia, her grandmother's 'apple of her eye'
Grandparents, in general, love their grandchildren equally, but often there is one who is more special than any other. This is the case of Patricia, who grew up with her grandmother. "Since her husband died more than 35 years ago, my grandmother has always stayed at my house, so the one she has taken care of the most has been me," she explains.
While her parents worked, her grandmother Victoria was in charge of taking care of her as if she were her own daughter. In Spain, 85% of grandparents are involved at some point in their lives in caring for their grandchildren while their parents work, according to a report published by the Sociological Research Center (CIS) in 2025. Furthermore, 46.7% take care of their grandchildren regularly, 39.2% do so several times a week, and 28.6% do so daily.
The most beautiful memories Patricia has with her grandmother Victoria happened in the summer, when they went on family vacations. "In the summers we went to the beach every day and spent the day with the whole family, with her sister and my cousins, and the truth is that it's something I miss because we used to rent an apartment in Puerto del Carmen all together," she says with longing.
So that she doesn't lose her vitality, Victoria's family keeps having her pick up the clothes from the line, fold them, and eat by herself. "We used to go often to have snacks with my grandmother's sister, to the Los Dolores church, or to visit her friends, although now she is more tired because she has heart problems," she recalls.
Sharing their day-to-day life on social media
Patricia Montelongo started uploading videos with her grandmother to her social media as a way to save memories together. "I spent a lot of time with my grandmother and I always recorded small moments to show my family, but then I started uploading them to social media and people liked it," she states.
Furthermore, she points out that many people "connected with us because there are many families who are having a hard time with their parents and grandparents."
As a result of people liking it so much, she decided to continue uploading those types of videos with her grandmother where she shows their routines, their walks together, or their outings to eat churros with chocolate, something she loves because "she's a glutton".
"I also upload the videos so that people better understand what living with such a situation entails and to keep memories for myself because time passes and things can change, so I can keep these videos in my life and remember these moments," she assures.
On social networks like TikTok and Instagram, it is common to see relatives of dependent people share videos of their day-to-day lives. This helps other people feel that they are not alone in that situation, which makes them feel understood. Thus, it is a way of making this reality visible that affects hundreds of thousands of families in Spain.
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