I attended a talk about suicide. And no, it wasn't one of those meetings where people lower their voices and put on a funeral face, as if talking about death would invoke it. It was quite the opposite: an exercise in lucidity, humanity, and, above all, naming the fear. Because if something kills more than the act itself, it's the silence that surrounds it.
We are in a society where everything is published: the breakfast toast, the afternoon filter, the couple's drama, and the trip to Istanbul. But when someone says "I can't take it anymore," the know-it-alls of the moment appear with their arsenal of gas station calendar phrases:
"That's wanting to get attention."
"If they say it, they won't do it."
"You have to think about how lucky you are."
And there you are, trying not to jump with a: "look, Manolo, I'd be lucky if you shut up for a while and read something other than Marca."
Let's be clear: minimizing the suffering of others does not save lives, it puts them at risk. Suicide is not cowardice, or selfishness, or a "whim of the depressed." It is the end of a pain that found no way out, of a system that does not teach how to manage emotions, of an environment that prefers to look the other way because the subject scares it.
What if we start there? By educating in emotional intelligence, which does not mean putting on a motivational coach face and saying "you can do it all," but teaching that it's okay not to be able to do it all. That strength is not in resisting silently, but in asking for help. That crying doesn't take away your dignity, it gives it back to you.
Talking about suicide does not incite committing it. What incites it is the taboo, the shame, the "better not say anything." Normalizing the conversation saves lives, and that is not an opinion: it is a fact. Therefore, listening to professionals and real testimonies was like opening a window in a room that had been closed for years. And the fresh air, believe me, was noticeable.
So, the next time someone says they're feeling bad, don't say "cheer up." Say, "tell me." Don't advise them, listen to them. And if you don't know what to say, it's okay. Being there is already a lot.
Because if we really want to be a mature society, we will have to learn that talking about suicide does not cause deaths, it provokes awareness. And perhaps that is the first step so that fewer people feel that their only way out is to leave.