"There are as many types of families as there are families," that is the mantra of the Lanzarote native Pablo Delgado and his husband Jorge Contreras, the couple behind the Instagram account @Diariodedospapás, an initiative that arises from the need to conquer spaces in which to show other ways of living, different from the conventional, but equally valid.
They both started dating in 2013 and discovered that they shared the dream of being parents and starting a family. Although they investigated "all the options", they were always clear that the path they wanted to follow was adoption. That's how their first child, Abián, came into their lives. After two years of marriage, in 2017 they decided to start an adoption file, they had the idea of adopting two siblings, but they received a call that changed their lives.
In 2019, "they proposed us to see the file of a minor, we said yes and we met him. From minute one we knew that this child was our child, our son," confesses Pablo Delgado during an interview with La Voz. To meet Abián they had to travel to Gran Canaria and carry out a process of "adjustment", a transition time in which the parents and the minors get to know each other until they finally go to live together.
Before starting their process, Delgado reveals that they started "from the idea that people have about adoption" and feared that they would have to face a cumbersome process that would be prolonged in time. "We were a bit lost in the process because we didn't know anyone who was in the same situation as us. The only complicated thing is the timing, because of course, they are minors and it depends on the children, on each experience, on each case," he continues.
"Now the times have changed a bit and it is a bit more established, but obviously you can't say, you open a file today and in two years you have the boy or the girl, because you never know," he says. Now, his activist profile on social networks also serves many families who are starting the process, as a space where to solve doubts and even where to meet other families in their situation.
On social networks, both show images of daily life with Abián, although they have decided to cover Ainara's face because her guardianship is still under the umbrella of the Government of the Canary Islands. "We have been asked many times and it is not that we do not want to show the face of the girl and the boy, yes. We have the custody, as in all adoptions is the first thing they give you. The guardianship belongs to the Government of the Canary Islands for the moment, so we cannot publish photos of a child under the guardianship of the Government of the Canary Islands until the judge ratifies the adoption," he explains.
In relation to the overexposure of minors on social networks, Delgado says that they have received "few negative opinions" about the publication of images of their children on the internet. "We have received many comments and messages from people congratulating us and thanking us for the work we do. We see Instagram as a tool that we use to make homoparental families, diverse families, visible and we do not believe that we are exploiting the image of the child because they are everyday moments, the story of a normal family and we have no intention of living from it."
Throughout the entire process, and despite their desire to start a family, Pablo and Jorge were clear that they did not want to have a child through surrogacy. In recent years, the trend has grown in high-class celebrities, such as Cristiano Ronaldo or the controversial case of Ana Obregón, who have chosen to pay a woman, usually from the lower class, to gestate their children for nine months and then keep those babies. Delgado says that he and his partner do not agree, "but well, each one with their reasons and their thinking but we do not, we do not share this," he points out.
Just two months ago, the little one of the house, Ainara, arrived in their lives, a four-year-old girl, who has come to complete the family and fulfill the dream they had when they started the adoption process of Abián: to have two children.
Still in the process of adapting to their new life, being four at home. Delgado throws an arrow in favor of adoption: "It is not as dark as everyone believes. Ours was relatively short in waiting times and the truth is, to date, we are super happy and it is as valid a way as any other to start a family."
While it is true that it is not a bed of roses, both he and his husband sincerely answer the questions that their children ask about their biological families. "Both he and she, each adapted to their age, know a little about their life story, nothing is hidden from them and we have always been there to try to help them and explain what they have lived," he indicates.
Regarding the emotional burdens that the little ones experience after leaving their biological family behind, Delgado adds that "obviously each child has their backpack, because these children are survivors, and it is a backpack that weighs quite a bit. The experience they have lived is there and at some point it comes out little by little and you simply have to be prepared to face with them what their life has been."